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AITA for asking my fiancé to stop saying “we” when referring to money I earned?
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Feedback turns frosty, complaints go broadcast with his sister, and the narrative shifts. Suddenly, feeling proud is “acting brand new.” Apparently, progress is only polite when everyone gets a trophy, and effort is just another group project for anyone with nearby wifi and an opinion.
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Success invites celebration, but sharing credit for someone else’s overtime is a masterclass in self-delusion. If “we” means everyone gets a sticker, maybe the next promotion should come with solo applause and a silent disco. Sometimes a victory lap is just for the person wearing the shoes.
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29-year-old gets big raise, and her unemployed fiancé keeps saying “we” when referring to her income, pushing her to demand credit: ‘He didn’t get a raise. He’s between jobs right now. I’ve been covering most expenses for months’
Fresh from a year of brutal hours, extra credentials and a marathon to the next pay grade, the world says congrats and the fiancé says "we did it." Cute, for about five breaths. By the sixth, "we're making six figures" is on repeat and "we can finally afford a nicer car" starts to sound a little like someone buying lottery tickets with someone else's coin.
The new collective pronoun comes with an interesting twist. No parallel promotion. No fresh paycheck. Just a couple of months served in the volunteer economy, courtesy of one partner's endless job hunt. When the request for individual acknowledgment lands, the fiancé pivots to a greatest hits tour of guilt, weaving teamwork into every reason why individual achievement is selfish. The only thing missing is the sweat stains from all that hard work—that part stayed on one side of the bed.
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